


Styrofoam Plates

by yorkisms



Category: X-Ray & Vav (Cartoon)
Genre: (I'm not helping am I), Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Abandonment, I couldn't resist, It was going to just be angst then I had to add hero ot3, Multi, Poverty, Single Parents, Somewhat, Songfic, T for some language and darkish topics, make X-Ray happy 2kforever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 05:49:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6361930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yorkisms/pseuds/yorkisms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>X-Ray didn't know what brought him back to his childhood apartment. Somehow, they had ended up in the neighborhood. It was a shock, honestly, that the place was still standing.</p><p>(Or, when a familiar and somewhat friendly place brings up unfriendly memories, X-Ray knows who he can rely on.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Styrofoam Plates

**Author's Note:**

> This is a songfic to Styrofoam Plates by Death Cab for Cutie (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M35fmHa3SOI)
> 
> And hence I entirely recommend listening. 
> 
> I can't believe this is my first posted xav fic-- I would say I was bullied into it, but I actually kind of like this. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy.

_(There's a saltwater film_  
_on the jar of your ashes_  
_I threw them to sea_  
_but a gust blew them backwards_  
_and the sting in my eyes_  
_which you then inflicted_  
_was par for the course_  
_just as when you were living)_

X-Ray didn't know what brought him back to his childhood apartment. Somehow, they had ended up in the neighborhood. It was a shock, honestly, that the place was still standing. Mogar and Vav noticed his distraction, but seeing as Vav wasn't intimately acquainted with the building it took him a moment to recognize.

 

“X-Ray?”

 

“You go on,” X-Ray replied, distantly staring up at the apartment complex.

 

Vav approached X-Ray, putting one hand on his shoulder.

 

“I almost didn't recognize the place.”

 

“It really has aged, hasn't it?” X-Ray said. Vav nodded.

 

“You want to go in?”

 

“Nah.”

 

“Mogar would-- appreciate an explanation.”

 

“Oh, right, sorry!” Vav yelped.

 

“Used to live here,” X-Ray said simply. Mogar looked at the building. X-Ray sighed.

 

“Yep, that beige two bedroom apartment with a kitchen and an old TV.”

 

He seemed a mix of bitter and nostalgic that concerned Vav slightly, but Mogar spoke first.

 

“On what level was your...apartment.”

 

X-Ray pointed at a third floor window.

 

“That one.”

 

Mogar followed X-Ray’s gaze, and Vav noted a flash of negative emotion from X-Ray.  
  
_(It's no stretch to say_  
_you were not quite a father_  
_but a donor of seeds_  
_to a poor single mother_  
_that would raise us alone_  
_we never saw the money_  
_that went down your throat_  
_through the hole in your belly)_

 

“You loved this place?”

 

“Love’s a strong word. I appreciate it.”

 

“It is- as you would put it- a shithole.”

 

“Yeah, but I grew up in this shithole. We didn't move to the current one until I was like, nineteen.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Vav was at least glad that X-Ray had control enough of his emotions to not label Mogar's inexperience as intended offense.

 

X-Ray folded his arms.

 

“X-Ray?” Vav asked. X-Ray jumped slightly.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“You have something on your mind, don't you?”

 

“Well…”  
  
_(Thirteen years old_  
_in the suburbs of Denver_  
_standing in line_  
_for Thanksgiving dinner_  
_at the Catholic church_  
_the servers wore crosses_  
_to shield from the sufferance_  
_plaguing the others)_  


“Wait here,” He's told. It's a bookstore, which he's okay with because all the books have nice drawings and he can entertain himself for hours like that.

 

“Okay.”

 

So he waits. And waits. And waits. Until a worker comes by and says the store is closing and where are his parents?

 

He looks up. It's dark outside.

 

“Papa said to wait…”

 

He misses the pity that crosses the worker's face.

 

“Do you have your mom's phone number?”

 

He nods.

 

She picks him up half an hour later, and she's angry but he's not entirely sure why.

 

“Papa said-”

 

His mother mutters some profanity he doesn't understand yet.

 

“Todo que tu padre dijiste es una mentira, hijo.”  _(Everything your father told you is a lie, boy.)_

 

He frowns. What does she mean by everything his father said was a lie?

 

“Vamos a casa. Yo voy a hablar con el.”  _(We're going home. I'm going to talk to him.)_

 

From her tone it doesn't sound like talking will do much good.

 

He resigns himself.

  
_(Styrofoam plates, cafeteria tables_  
_charity reeks of cheap wine and pity_  
_and I'm thinking of you_  
_I do every year_

_When we count all our blessings  
And wonder what we're doing here.) _

 

His mom tells him to go to bed immediately, which he does, but that doesn't mean he's asleep when his father comes home.

 

“¿Vas a abandonar nuestro hijo?”  _(Are you going to abandon our child?)_

 

“¡Jesucristo! ¿Por qué lo tenemos? No estábamos preparados-”  _(Jesus Christ! Why did we have him? We were not prepared-)_

 

“¡Dios! No es una pregunta que si estamos preparados, necesitamos cuidar de el.”  _(God! It's not a question of whether we are prepared, we need to take care of him.)_

 

“Ay.”

 

In his bed, he curls up tighter. Do they think he's asleep?

 

“Y si no te gusta, ¡no puedes hacerlo!”  _(And if you don't like it, you can not do it!)_

 

“Ay, porque tu estás me molestando ¡no quiero hacerlo!”  _(Ay, because you are irritating me I don't want to do it!)_

 

“Sí? Pues, sabes donde está la puerta.”  _(Yes? Well, you know where the door is.)_

 

“¡Bien!”  _(Fine!)_

 

“¡Bien!”  _(Fine!)_

 

He hears the door slam like he would feel a punch to the gut. His father will come back, it will be over by tomorrow, it always is.

 

And then it isn't, because when he gets up the next morning his mom says his father's not coming back. He doesn't believe her at first, spending much of the day looking out the windows to try and see if he is. 

His father doesn't return for the rest of the time they live there, and even after.  
  
_(You're a disgrace_  
_to the concept of family_  
_the priest won't divulge_  
_that fact in his homily_  
_and I'll stand up and scream_  
_if the mourning remains quiet_  
_you can deck out a lie_  
_in a suit but I won't buy it.)_

 

“-it's nothing, really.”

 

Vav frowns, suspicious.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Nah, it is. I'll tell you later. It's stupid anyway.”

 

“Do you wanna go?”

 

X-Ray  paused. Go home? Yeah, that sounded good. He nodded.

 

Vav leaned on his shoulder, giving him a kiss on the cheek. X-Ray flushed slightly. Mogar smiled.

 

“Love you too, idiots.”

 

Mogar gently put his arm around X-Ray’s waist.

 

“You guys are the shit,” X-Ray mumbled.

 

Vav grinned, still leaned against him.

 

“Well, obviously, we love you.”

 

Sometimes the obvious was not so obvious to X-Ray, but here and now things felt clear.

 

He was better off like this, here, with his boyfriends who loved him.

 

“Okay, okay, time to go home.”

 

Only the people worth keeping, he decided, never leave.

  
_(I won't join in the procession_  
_that's speaking their peace_  
_using five-dollar words_  
_while praising his integrity_  
_and just 'cause he's gone_  
_it doesn't change the fact_  
_he was a bastard in life_  
_thus a bastard in death)_

**Author's Note:**

> Comment/kudos/bookmark if you liked, or if you want talk to me at mttbrand-suffering on tumblr!


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